A portal of feelings

It's interesting how sometimes when I feel a cold wind sweeping my face, I'm transported back to the familiar feeling of being on this mountain, at this exact moment:

It was more like a similar mental state, as not on every similar occasion did I get the same feeling. I only feel it when there's a certain sense of comfort, a very short moment of peace, in the middle of the 'chaos'. 

On that mountain, I was a bit scared walking through a narrow path with steep cliffs and low visibility. But I kept going and as soon as the cold wind from the moving clouds swept over my face, I couldn't help but almost close my eyes and spread my arms to absorb that new experience amidst the dangers around me. So quiet and refreshing. I loved it. (Maybe it was because someone more experienced was watching me from behind—a stranger I met while hiking, that I felt 'safe' 😜)

On other occasions, I felt it when I, for the first time(!), jogged at the park in winter while I had other demanding assignments, or after I finished an oral exam that I was quite anxious about and then walked out of the building. The feeling when the cold wind touched my face while I was running/walking appeared as "This is so good, it's cold but it feels comfortable on my face, I feel content and relieved at this very moment. I have done 'something'. This is how life should always feel like. OK, I will let myself enjoy it for a short moment". 

It was not a fully peaceful state of mind after all, as I was very conscious that in the next few minutes, my mind would be occupied with other burdensome responsibilities. But for a brief moment, there was a comfort, a slice of mindfulness, just like when I walked through the moving clouds at 1463 metres high above sea level. 

Also, I am aware that I always think about the next things to finish. The checklist keeps going, and I am quite concerned that this might not be a healthy behaviour 😔. I sometimes find myself thinking about the last time I had a sustained feeling of "peace". So, it's quite 'helpful' for me.

It's intriguing to think that some memories with all their elements can linger in such a unique way in my mind and appear unexpectedly in some daily little life events. 

Now I will find myself, at times, wondering in what kind of circumstances it will appear again.